Death-Denial:

Death continues to be taboo in many cultures in the West. Talking about it is considered dark, pessimistic, morbid. Rarely is death a substantial part of the curriculum for physicians, nurses, social workers- clinicians who are well-positioned to support others touched by the process. What happens when we are denied the opportunity to talk about this inevitable part of what it means to be human? 

Death is Everywhere:

Life and death are everywhere. On a cellular level, parts of us are living, dying, or regenerating at any given moment. Things are dying, ending, and lost all around us. With every change, there is a death- and change is happening all the time. We say goodbye to an old job to make way for a new job or retirement. How can widening our lens of death all around us enhance our appreciation for the life around us as well?

Grief and Loss:

Grief, like death- and joy, and sadness, and anger- is part of the human experience. With death happening all around us, it is important to understand grief: what it is, the universal and profoundly unique elements, the communal and personal, how we experience it in our bodies, and our relationship to it. How can we use our understanding of grief to advocate for our own needs and support others going through the process?

Letting Go:

When we die, we ultimately are invited to let go of all it means to be who we are. Clinging to these parts of us at any point in life can lead to tension and strife, and at the end of life can make the dying transition that much more challenging. How can we hold these parts of us lightly? How can practicing letting go regularly prepare us for the ultimate letting go at death? 

Forgiveness:

Forgiving someone or something when we are wronged can be liberating. But it can also take a lifetime, and even then, we might not fully get there. Imagine waiting until the dying process to forgive, or asking for forgiveness. What does forgiveness entail, how can we practice it now, and why might practicing now prepare us for a better death?  

Fear:

Fear is a primal human emotion, alerting us to threats of safety. While it has utility, when misplaced, fear also has the potential to be limiting or even harmful. Our fears can tell us a lot about ourselves: what is important to us, what requires more attention in our lives, or what is an opportunity to grow. What are our fears about dying, and what does this tell us about what matters? 

Regret:

Regret, while painful at times, can propel us towards living of a life of more authenticity, compassion and truth. This week, we look at how common regrets of the dying can guide us towards better action now to mitigate regret later, so we do not have to wait until we are on our deathbeds.

Loneliness:

Loneliness has recently been named an epidemic by former surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murty. Loneliness, distinct from solitude or being alone, is when one perceives a gap between desired social connection and actual social connection, and it is not about quantity of connections so much as quality. Even for introverts, social isolation has negative impacts. Meaningful connections buffer us from the adverse physiological impacts of loneliness: increased risk of heart and stroke, weakened immune systems, elevated stress hormones and inflammation, and cognitive decline. With aging, serious illness and at the end of life, relationships evolve and can be more difficult to maintain. Still, meaningful connection has been shown to be important until the end. How can our awareness of loneliness at all stages of life translate to supporting others at the end of theirs?

Metamorphosis, Transitions, Passages:

Growing up, most of us learned about metamorphosis: how caterpillars spin their cocoons and turn into butterflies. What a magical change: you hide in a tiny little room, snap your fingers, and turn into a butterfly. The actual process of metamorphosis is grueling and intense, a complete and irreversible dissolution of the caterpillar. Change and transformation can be terrifying and painful. Investigating the scientific process of metamorphosis with a hint of spirituality can provide an interesting perspective into change and why it is something that we might resist, is painful at times, and is beautiful all at once. And what is the transition from life to death but an ultimate example of metamorphosis?

Ritual:

Incorporating ritual can bring great meaning and intention daily life as well as the end-of-life. Rituals can be as simple as sipping your morning coffee while looking out the window; they can be as elaborate as a community-wide service with prescribed music, recitations, dress, and interactions between participants. How can we incorporate the elements of ritual into our days to greater enrich and enhance our daily lives? In a culture that generally is devoid of ritual, how can considering elements of ritual support our experiences with grief and dying?

The Afterlife:

Cultures and religions around the world have stories and beliefs about what happens after we die. Indeed, entire systems of ethics and morals center around these beliefs and guide us in how we live our lives. How do beliefs about what happens after death shape the dying experience? What fears, hopes, and comforts arise as a result of these beliefs?

Gratitude:

One of the most important things that can be said at the end of life is “Thank you”. Growing research suggests that practicing gratitude can actually change brain chemistry. What is your relationship to gratitude? For some, it comes easier than others. Some days it might take more work than others: that's why it's called practice- you do it anyway. Practicing gratitude does not mean that you ignore hardship, or pretend that the hard things don’t exist. It means that, in the midst of the good, bad, and neutral, you can ALSO find something to be grateful for. Why might this be a worthy life practice? Where does gratitude have its place at the end of life? 

Aging:

"We begin to die from the moment we are born, for birth is the cause of death. The nature of decay is inherent in youth, the nature of sickness is inherent in health, in the midst of life we are verily in death." - Guatama Buddha. Throughout life, we are constantly transforming: growing, breaking down, repairing. The aging process brings about many changes and ‘miniature deaths’, each with their own set of challenges, hardships and experiences.

Elderhood: 

The word elder is a term of respect, dignity, and admiration. Yet for many it holds the same meaning as the word older, which is a curiously denigrating thing to call anyone in our youth-obsessed culture. In a culture that sells age-defying creams and glorifies the earlier chapters of life, what is ‘elderhood’? How can we appreciate elderhood in a way that supports, acknowledges, and celebrates all that comes with the final chapter of a human life? 

Wisdom:

Archetypes, according to psychologist Carl Jung, are common patterns of thought and behavior that exist in the collective unconscious of a culture, shaping human experience and behavior. They are distinct aspects of identity or personality that can sound quite familiar, as they might be embodied in fairy tales or common folklore. Two examples of archetypes are the Wise Old Woman and the Wise Old Man. The Wise Old Woman is portrayed by the fairy godmother in Cinderella: wise, insightful, full of experience that is used to guide and support others on their own journeys. Similarly, the Wise Old Man is like Merlin of the King Arthur stories: a wise, supportive, mentor for others as they face their own challenges. Wisdom can only come with experience and lessons, and these often come with age. How can understanding these archetypes shape our experience of changing, aging and gaining wisdom over time?

Memento Mori:

"Remember you die". The significance of reflecting on our impermanence and mortality with regularity is a concept that has been interwoven into religions and philosophies throughout world history. Can remembering that we will die help us remember to live? What are ways in which we can remind ourselves of our mortality?

Death Meditation:

‘Recollection of death’ is a powerful practice, inviting us to face our fears and remember our mortality. Buddhists call this practice Maranasati, which translates into ‘death awareness’. To shine light on death is to become aware of life. Death meditations offer the opportunity to practice dying, to practice letting go and allowing the dying process to unfold. You are invited to settle in, get physically comfortable, and be guided through a death meditation.

Legacy: 

What will you leave behind after you die? Many feel that the concept of legacy is limited to children and money. Others might feel that because they did not cure cancer or have a library named after them, they do not have a legacy. If we broaden our definition of it, we consider everything else we leave behind: values, lessons, kind words, tradition, and more. How might considering your legacy give you a greater sense of purpose and meaning while living? 

Memorials: 

It is a common fear that, after death, we will be forgotten. Memorials are a way to keep the memory of you alive: a park bench, a statue, a scrapbook, a song, ranging from humble to grand and loud. There are many ways to memorialize those you have loved. How would you like to be remembered? What is a symbol of your values, your story, your many contributions to those around you? 

End of Life Choices:

Life is full of choices. In dying and death, we also have choices. Making the right personal choice requires information, reflection, planning, and advocacy. Begin here by learning about and discussing end-of-life choices, including DNR code status (Do Not Resuscitate), VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating & Drinking) and MAiD (Medical Aid-in-Dying, or End of Life Option in California). How can we maintain agency, autonomy, and dignity at the end of life?