"I Love You"... why wait to say it?

Dr. Ira Byock, a renowned palliative care physician, noticed common threads in his work with people at the end of life. He sums them up in his book "The Four Things That Matter Most". Each one is a statement we can claim in connection with another. This week, we focus on the fourth: "I Love You".

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One of my hospice patients was in the phase of the dying process considered "transitioning": physiological changes were taking place and she was beginning to withdraw, turning inward and shifting all focus and energy into the passage she was about to move through. It appeared her family was very supportive and kind, though I had yet to witness open expressions of love or affection. I checked in with her son in the kitchen and he tearfully shared fond memories of the times they had together. "I just love her so much", he said repeatedly. Knowing that things were changing, and fairly rapidly, I asked him if he had told her. He replied, "Well, I mean, she knows I do. Of course I do." 

Perhaps this was true that she knew without hearing it. And also maybe it was true that she didn't know for sure. How do you show your love to people? What would happen if you actually told them that you loved them? Is there someone in your life you've never said the words to who just might need to hear them?

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